I'm diving deep, ya'll. And the deeper I go, the more I want to learn. Spirituality and psychology and quantum physics and alignment and flow and dharma and alllllllllll the woo AF stuff that has always resonated with me peripherally but I never allowed myself to fully buy. My mind always kept the woo at arm's length. Now that I'm just letting go and fully allowing my higher self to guide everything, I'm deep in woo woo land and it all feels so much truer than the traditional mind-based approach to life.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. So why not tune into your higher self and allow the universe to guide you into your best life? Why not? It's a fuck ton easier, I can tell you that for surezies. And more fun.
I'm currently working hard on balancing my yin and yang. I've been go go go my whole adult life. It has manifested as physical ailments off and on; I would rest until I was able to function again and then gradually work back up to running myself into the ground. Then, since I insisted on ignoring my physical ailments whenever possible, it began showing up as raging anxiety along with occasional bouts of depression. Then, my anxiety had to reach literally debilitating levels before I admitted I had a problem, and even then I just started popping SSRIs and tried to keep on keeping on. Spoiler alert: that wasn't the right answer. And the anxiety came back, so I would up my dose, and it came back, so I upped it again, and it came back, so I switched to a different SSRI. It came back again...
The answer was and is mindfulness. And connection to my higher self.
The answer was and is mindfulness. And connection to my higher self.
So in 2019 I will focus on honoring the yin. I will rest more. I will do what I am called to, instead of what I "should" do. I will further explore my interests and hobbies. I will nourish my body with more vegetables and fruit and less grains and meat. I will prioritize my rest (as much as my tiny offspring will allow). I'm hopping on the morning celery juice bandwagon. I will get back to my daily yoga practice. I will read a physical book every day, even if it's just for five minutes while I finish my morning coffee.
I want to model a healthy balance for my girls. I want them to see me rest. And read books. And follow my own inner motivation instead of what the collective mind-based society says I "should" do. Yin. Yin. Yin. I am vata but have pushed myself to be a pitta my whole adult life.
I need to chill the fuck out, tune into my higher self, and wait for the universe to show me the next stepping stone of my life.
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