Husband got up with the girls and I'm "sleeping in." Sleeping in isn't a thing for me these days. Generally, after an early nursing session, usually 6:00 am-sh, I'm awake, even if the toddler rolls back over and falls right back asleep. I'm trying to hop on the Ayurvedic train a little more in my daily habits, and going to sleep by 10:00 pm and waking at 6:00 am is a thing in the Ayurvedic world. So I'm trying to embrace it. But I'm also mothering on and off throughout the night, so it's not exactly the deep, restful sleep that is recommended.
So I'm hiding in our room with the sound machine turned up to eleven and trying to get myself in a good headspace before I start my day. It's Saturday. I want to happy, fun, spontaneous mommy. But I've got the Lexapro withdrawal twitchies and I don't want to adult today. I just want to call in sick. Not an option, unfortunately. #parenthood So instead, I'm journaling and attempting (but failing) to meditate, and soaking up some Eckhart Tolle wisdom bombs from The Power of Now in preparation for attempting to be a pleasant human being today.
"Inhabiting the body protects you not by putting up a shield, but by raising the frequency vibration of your total energy field, so that anything that vibrates at a lower frequency, such as fear, anger, depression, and so on, now exists in what is virtually a different order of reality." - Tolle
"So when such challenges come, as they always do, make it a habit to go within at once and focus as much as you can on the inner energy field of your body. This need not take long, just a few seconds. But you need to do it the moment that the challenge presents itself. Any delay will allow a conditioned mental-emotional reaction to arise and take you over. When you focus within and feel the inner body, you immediately become still and present as you are withdrawing consciousness from the mind. If a response is required in that situation, it will come up from this deeper level." - Tolle
"When your partner behaves unconsciously, relinquish all judgment. Judgment is either to confuse someone's unconscious behavior with who they are or to project your own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are." - Tolle
"Now let your spiritual practice be this: As you go about your life, don't give 100 percent of your attention to the external world and to your mind. Keep some within. ... Feel the inner body even when engaged in relationships or when you are relating with nature. Feel the stillness deep inside it. Keep the portal open. It is quite possible to be conscious of the Unmanifested throughout your life. You feel it as a deep sense of peace somewhere in the background, a stillness that never leaves you, no matter what happens out here. ... This is the state of connectedness with the Source that we will call enlightenment." - Tolle
"Whenever you notice that some form of negativity has arisen within you, look on it not as a failure, but as a helpful signal that is telling you: "Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present." - Tolle
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